(no subject)
Oct. 4th, 2013 02:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwydion* Two days ago, a refugee boat full of African refugees from Eritrea and environs caught fire and sank of the coast of Italy. They've found more than 100 bodies, but 300 dead is considered a more realistic figure. They ran out of coffins on the island from which the rescue was launched.
* Best of luck to those in the Nebraska/Colorado section of the Midwest and folks on the Gulf Coast. Stay safe, okay?
* Did I mention that the Republicans decided it was a good idea to furlough 80% of the people who's job it is to track storms in the middle of hurricane season while we were waiting to see if a tropical storm was going to turn into a hurricane headed for New Orleans and a bunch of deep sea oil platforms After all, what could possibly go wrong there?
* Republican Senator Mike Lee went out bragging that he was getting paid unlike all the people he helped lay off as part of the Republican tantrum (After all, he was working, unlike the soldiers in Afghanistan, etc.). When it was pointed out that rubbing people's noses in the fact that they won't be able to pay rent or mortgages, while he as a rich person who was responsible for them not getting paid while collecting a paycheck was an asshole maneuver, he accused his local TV Station was lying about his brag. They simply released the tape of him bragging about his hypocrisy and cruelty in answer.
This is what Republicans call "responsibility."
* It's sounding like the lady who was shot in DC yesterday had post partem depression with psychosis, but they weaned her off her meds too early or too fast. Post partem depression is no one's fault. It's a terrible thing to happen and assuming that things were as it sounds they were, she had next to no chance of being able to ask for help once symptoms reasserted themselves. This is one of those situations where the brain is compromised in a way that pretty much requires an outside person to spot the trouble and intervene. Absent that help, something tragic of one sort or another was likely. My thoughts are with her family who clearly loved her and were well informed on her illness in a way that speaks well of their care for her.
* The Education Reform Hoax:
* Footage of that Republican Congressman berating a female park ranger. He claims she should be ashamed because he voted to stud down the government and thus ordered her to close the park. After all she, as a powerless underpaid employee should take full responsibility for the decisions rich congress people take and defy Congress.:
* "Shut Up Fool Awards-Shuttin' Down The Government Edition:" http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2013/10/shut-up-fool-awards-shuttin-down.html
* "Amen, Chaplain Black!:" http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2013/10/amen-chaplain-black.html
* Fobok found (TW), "This Is Why Trans People Rarely Speak Up When We're Misgendered:" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-kate-dale/this-is-why-trans-people-rarely-speak-up-when-were-misgendered_b_4030525.html
* Also Fobok found, "Grandfather Writes AMAZING Letter To Daughter After She Kicks Out Gay Grandson:" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/02/grandpa-letter-gay-grandson_n_4029750.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
* The inevitable physical collapse has started, with it's pain, stiffness, and clumsiness. I have also likely been sick for a few days. (It's hard to tell with my base level of permanent illness, but my nose, lungs, and throat have been well above average worse all week) I was also sporadically feverish starting yesterday, at a level of heat that suggests pathogen rather than my internal temperature regulation system being on the fritz again. I dragged myself out to the nearest supermarket for juice, bread, and yoghurt, but hadn't the sense to buy forbidden cheese for my crackers. I'm taking it easy the rest of the night and tomorrow, as I still have Constantinople to run on Sunday. Research this week has been composting, which is less strenuous than history or WoD researching, as I can do it lying down. I expect next week to be the same which helps.
* Still no movement from bank of Evil on the new place, but as our landlord is letting us go month to month, and thanks to the ridiculously high medical co-pays in the last year our rent has drooped to next to nothing starting in November it's less stressful and expensive than it has been hitherto. I'd still rather fucking move already, but it's not the "Oh goddesses we are fucked" situation we were in last week.
UPDATE: Bank of Evil just gave verbal approval. They are thinking of letting us buy the damned apartment Monday.
* This has been a weird week as far as Media and Triggers:
First there was the Sex Surrogate article, which it literally took me all week to read because given my most of a decade long Grim Little War as a child required a great deal of stealing myself and digesting time. (My resistance so opposite to the author's compliance, the ages and circumstances so different, my inability to even imagine what I would be like without vs. his simple wish to undo: all this is different, but I do know what long term psychiatric abuse does with a deep intimacy. So many people like me to one degree or another in my generation had so much worse done to them to "make them normal," queer kids, autistic kids, depressed kids, kids who one way or another didn't fit the template of expectation. My Grim Little war was terrible, but over the years I come across people who had so much worse: people institutionalized long term and systematically repeatedly raped, kids snatched from loving parents for constant physical a psychological abuse. I have my scars and I am fundamentally what I turned myself into to resist and survive. What I am is also functional and a had so much joy in my life it's impossible to convey I sliced of bits of myself to keep the core intact, but that core was there when it was over to rebuild and stand as a foundation for things I likely could never have been if I didn't have to rebuild from fundamentals in my late teens and early twenties. This is luck, this is a privilege, my particular adaptation left me loving myself and strong). So many others came out hating themselves and feeling broken, with a sense of loss that may never lift. I honor their survival and resilience. My particular collection of differences and family circumstances gave me tools others had to build themselves or do without. There circumstances under which survival is itself heroic however managed. To all the other survivors out there, Love and respect.
Anyway, you'd think that Sleepy hollow 1.3 would have been the land of trigger for me, but it wasn't My response to fictional things like this is erratic and this didn't ping. However, I was finally talked into trying the Supranoes, and that was harder It wasn't "The Veiw from the Oak Tree" or "Changeling" (The film with Angelina Jolie) hard, but it took processing space. I kept having to remind myself that he actually needed psychiatric help and she was supplying it, that this was fiction and the 21st century, not trying to systematically destroy him for personal satisfaction and gain like real psychiatrists generally did in my experience back in the 1970's and 1980's. I kept having to remind myself that this was not only fictional, but good for him.
The thing is, I have encouraged people over the years to get psychiatric help. I learned my lesson at St. John's that way. I do, in fact, know people benefit from the process, that modern therapy is less about breaking you to remold you into a predetermined image, that people in real distress need quality professional help. I really do consider the brain to be another organ and that we should treat mental illness as illness, without stigma.
The piece of me that helped me survive my childhood though? After all those years of interrogation and abuse, all it knows how to do is resist and respond tactically. I only saw a couple episodes, as it's from the library. I'm going to make myself watch more when it comes back, as it's a useful sort of distress to watch. I'm labeling it therapy, just like working systematically through the bulk of the anger was therapy, or forcing myself to write things on a calendar or put personal things in this journal after all the counterconditioning is therapy. It's a deal I made with myself long ago, to deliberately break old survival rules when they stop making sense for survival.
* Wow, Agents of SHIELD is boring. I literally kept forgetting I was watching it, so am not clear on what happened. The only bit that kept my attention was the cameo at the end and not much was happening in it. It seemed to exist to entice people into tuning back in in the hopes he'll be in more episodes. Does anyone involved in this show know how to write dialog? Has anyone heard of pacing? How about editing? The first episode was dull, but watchable, tonight's was a mess. I don't really care about the team members and haven't learned their names. Couldn't we just have another season of Torchwood instead as it's the same thing only good? Even the worst episode of Torchwood is better than everything I've seen so far. Still, I I admit I do wonder how long they've been cloning or whatever Coulson and how often he's died. Maybe he really is old enough to have been that kid in the Captain America movies. I'm no convinced it's worth sitting through more of this drek to find out. I'm sure TUMBLr will tell me the answer. I'm giving it one more week and I'm out.
* A correspondent elsewhere asked to see my Halloween Tree surrounded by Halloween presents.: http://gwydionmisha.tumblr.com/post/63136808079/a-correspondent-elsewhere-asked-to-see-my
* "Written-By-Numbers Drinking Game: Dystopian:" http://www.fangsforthefantasy.com/2013/10/written-by-numbers-drinking-game.html
* Best of luck to those in the Nebraska/Colorado section of the Midwest and folks on the Gulf Coast. Stay safe, okay?
* Did I mention that the Republicans decided it was a good idea to furlough 80% of the people who's job it is to track storms in the middle of hurricane season while we were waiting to see if a tropical storm was going to turn into a hurricane headed for New Orleans and a bunch of deep sea oil platforms After all, what could possibly go wrong there?
* Republican Senator Mike Lee went out bragging that he was getting paid unlike all the people he helped lay off as part of the Republican tantrum (After all, he was working, unlike the soldiers in Afghanistan, etc.). When it was pointed out that rubbing people's noses in the fact that they won't be able to pay rent or mortgages, while he as a rich person who was responsible for them not getting paid while collecting a paycheck was an asshole maneuver, he accused his local TV Station was lying about his brag. They simply released the tape of him bragging about his hypocrisy and cruelty in answer.
This is what Republicans call "responsibility."
* It's sounding like the lady who was shot in DC yesterday had post partem depression with psychosis, but they weaned her off her meds too early or too fast. Post partem depression is no one's fault. It's a terrible thing to happen and assuming that things were as it sounds they were, she had next to no chance of being able to ask for help once symptoms reasserted themselves. This is one of those situations where the brain is compromised in a way that pretty much requires an outside person to spot the trouble and intervene. Absent that help, something tragic of one sort or another was likely. My thoughts are with her family who clearly loved her and were well informed on her illness in a way that speaks well of their care for her.
* The Education Reform Hoax:
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
* Footage of that Republican Congressman berating a female park ranger. He claims she should be ashamed because he voted to stud down the government and thus ordered her to close the park. After all she, as a powerless underpaid employee should take full responsibility for the decisions rich congress people take and defy Congress.:
* "Shut Up Fool Awards-Shuttin' Down The Government Edition:" http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2013/10/shut-up-fool-awards-shuttin-down.html
* "Amen, Chaplain Black!:" http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2013/10/amen-chaplain-black.html
* Fobok found (TW), "This Is Why Trans People Rarely Speak Up When We're Misgendered:" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-kate-dale/this-is-why-trans-people-rarely-speak-up-when-were-misgendered_b_4030525.html
* Also Fobok found, "Grandfather Writes AMAZING Letter To Daughter After She Kicks Out Gay Grandson:" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/02/grandpa-letter-gay-grandson_n_4029750.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
* The inevitable physical collapse has started, with it's pain, stiffness, and clumsiness. I have also likely been sick for a few days. (It's hard to tell with my base level of permanent illness, but my nose, lungs, and throat have been well above average worse all week) I was also sporadically feverish starting yesterday, at a level of heat that suggests pathogen rather than my internal temperature regulation system being on the fritz again. I dragged myself out to the nearest supermarket for juice, bread, and yoghurt, but hadn't the sense to buy forbidden cheese for my crackers. I'm taking it easy the rest of the night and tomorrow, as I still have Constantinople to run on Sunday. Research this week has been composting, which is less strenuous than history or WoD researching, as I can do it lying down. I expect next week to be the same which helps.
* Still no movement from bank of Evil on the new place, but as our landlord is letting us go month to month, and thanks to the ridiculously high medical co-pays in the last year our rent has drooped to next to nothing starting in November it's less stressful and expensive than it has been hitherto. I'd still rather fucking move already, but it's not the "Oh goddesses we are fucked" situation we were in last week.
UPDATE: Bank of Evil just gave verbal approval. They are thinking of letting us buy the damned apartment Monday.
* This has been a weird week as far as Media and Triggers:
First there was the Sex Surrogate article, which it literally took me all week to read because given my most of a decade long Grim Little War as a child required a great deal of stealing myself and digesting time. (My resistance so opposite to the author's compliance, the ages and circumstances so different, my inability to even imagine what I would be like without vs. his simple wish to undo: all this is different, but I do know what long term psychiatric abuse does with a deep intimacy. So many people like me to one degree or another in my generation had so much worse done to them to "make them normal," queer kids, autistic kids, depressed kids, kids who one way or another didn't fit the template of expectation. My Grim Little war was terrible, but over the years I come across people who had so much worse: people institutionalized long term and systematically repeatedly raped, kids snatched from loving parents for constant physical a psychological abuse. I have my scars and I am fundamentally what I turned myself into to resist and survive. What I am is also functional and a had so much joy in my life it's impossible to convey I sliced of bits of myself to keep the core intact, but that core was there when it was over to rebuild and stand as a foundation for things I likely could never have been if I didn't have to rebuild from fundamentals in my late teens and early twenties. This is luck, this is a privilege, my particular adaptation left me loving myself and strong). So many others came out hating themselves and feeling broken, with a sense of loss that may never lift. I honor their survival and resilience. My particular collection of differences and family circumstances gave me tools others had to build themselves or do without. There circumstances under which survival is itself heroic however managed. To all the other survivors out there, Love and respect.
Anyway, you'd think that Sleepy hollow 1.3 would have been the land of trigger for me, but it wasn't My response to fictional things like this is erratic and this didn't ping. However, I was finally talked into trying the Supranoes, and that was harder It wasn't "The Veiw from the Oak Tree" or "Changeling" (The film with Angelina Jolie) hard, but it took processing space. I kept having to remind myself that he actually needed psychiatric help and she was supplying it, that this was fiction and the 21st century, not trying to systematically destroy him for personal satisfaction and gain like real psychiatrists generally did in my experience back in the 1970's and 1980's. I kept having to remind myself that this was not only fictional, but good for him.
The thing is, I have encouraged people over the years to get psychiatric help. I learned my lesson at St. John's that way. I do, in fact, know people benefit from the process, that modern therapy is less about breaking you to remold you into a predetermined image, that people in real distress need quality professional help. I really do consider the brain to be another organ and that we should treat mental illness as illness, without stigma.
The piece of me that helped me survive my childhood though? After all those years of interrogation and abuse, all it knows how to do is resist and respond tactically. I only saw a couple episodes, as it's from the library. I'm going to make myself watch more when it comes back, as it's a useful sort of distress to watch. I'm labeling it therapy, just like working systematically through the bulk of the anger was therapy, or forcing myself to write things on a calendar or put personal things in this journal after all the counterconditioning is therapy. It's a deal I made with myself long ago, to deliberately break old survival rules when they stop making sense for survival.
* Wow, Agents of SHIELD is boring. I literally kept forgetting I was watching it, so am not clear on what happened. The only bit that kept my attention was the cameo at the end and not much was happening in it. It seemed to exist to entice people into tuning back in in the hopes he'll be in more episodes. Does anyone involved in this show know how to write dialog? Has anyone heard of pacing? How about editing? The first episode was dull, but watchable, tonight's was a mess. I don't really care about the team members and haven't learned their names. Couldn't we just have another season of Torchwood instead as it's the same thing only good? Even the worst episode of Torchwood is better than everything I've seen so far. Still, I I admit I do wonder how long they've been cloning or whatever Coulson and how often he's died. Maybe he really is old enough to have been that kid in the Captain America movies. I'm no convinced it's worth sitting through more of this drek to find out. I'm sure TUMBLr will tell me the answer. I'm giving it one more week and I'm out.
* A correspondent elsewhere asked to see my Halloween Tree surrounded by Halloween presents.: http://gwydionmisha.tumblr.com/post/63136808079/a-correspondent-elsewhere-asked-to-see-my
* "Written-By-Numbers Drinking Game: Dystopian:" http://www.fangsforthefantasy.com/2013/10/written-by-numbers-drinking-game.html
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(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-05 10:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 02:41 am (UTC)