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Jun. 29th, 2016 06:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwydion* There has been a bad attack involving multiple suicide bombers on the main airport in Istanbul. 36 were dead and 147 wounded as of this writing. It is thought the tight security limited the damage as they had to bomb there way in through a wall.
* I just saw the first Trump backing PAC ad on Hilary Clinton in my market for the season and it is sexist and creepy and so low it could limbo under a snake. I'm no surprised at the tone, only sad. A hair over four months of this lies ahead and I'm already exhausted.
* It is creepy and alarming to see so many UKIP people on the BBC being treated as if their opinions are reasonable rather than shameful.
* "This Is How Low Necklines Affect the Outcome of Women's Job Interviews:" https://mic.com/articles/147298/study-finds-women-in-low-necklines-more-likely-to-get-job-interviews-world-has-zero-chill?utm_source=policymicTBLR&utm_medium=style&utm_campaign=social#.TC2NpgWjL
* It is a different experience watching a character in a movie or TV show dying of TB when you have my genetic legacy. I noticed it first with Impromptu. Back then, my lungs were still mostly functional, though the early signs of deterioration were noticeable. Back then, I'd had the experience of watching my beloved great Aunts fade and shrivel as the cf carrier and endless associated infections took their lungs, their breath, their lives, but I'd been a child when they died and the most gruesome of the last stage was kept from me. Watching it this time on Outlander, when the vivid memory of my Mother's struggle for breath and her endless nightmares of suffocating as she died slowly over the last couple years of her life, bits of her spark extinguished by the exhaustion and the oxygen deprivation is in my mind and my own noticeable deterioration of the last five years or so has been strangling me is an even more vivid experience. I now take occasional blacking out from coughing as normal, after all, and I've been infected for more than half a year with a virus I can't begin to shake and the new secondary infection has been choking me unsubtlely all month. I sat, literally struggling for breath, trying to get enough control to draw the medicine into my lungs as Claire breathed smoke into the tube to ease Alex's breathing. I've had this secondary infection for weeks, the fever ebbing and flowing, each bad episode a preview of the one that will likely some day kill me. My death is in my chest, in my cells, in my DNA, an expiration date still well ahead of me, but gruesome and terrifying, and painful. I know, because I watched it take her, as she watched it take her Aunts and her sister when they were in college. It is not a thing a person who isn't a lung patient can really understand I suspect, unless perhaps they have been water boarded or drowned for real. The 19thCentury obsession with tuberculosis always made sense to me as a child, even before the great plague of my life time stole most of a couple of generations of our men. Blood and Breath and life and death. No wonder they were terrified of premature burial, generations of people who watched loved ones suffocate slowly in their beds.
I think of how strong she was, despite everything, and the terror that dragged her out of sleep over and over, and I dream of oxygen tanks and ICU's instead of being buried alive, but I know it will come, it will come.
* "Preacher, Season 1, Episode 3: The Possibilities :" http://www.fangsforthefantasy.com/2016/06/preacher-season-1-episode-3.html
* "How to help Flint, Michigan:" http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/how-help-flint-michigan
* Help pay for cat food, litter, meds, medical copays: Paypal Lethran@gmail.com
* Donate to help refugees: http://donate.unhcr.org/international/general
* A list of LGBTQA Charities: http://awkward0w1.tumblr.com/post/126399233673
* Want Game of Thrones without the creepy? We desperately need new players. We are very inclusive. "Game of Bones MUSH:" gobmush.wikidot.com
* I just saw the first Trump backing PAC ad on Hilary Clinton in my market for the season and it is sexist and creepy and so low it could limbo under a snake. I'm no surprised at the tone, only sad. A hair over four months of this lies ahead and I'm already exhausted.
* It is creepy and alarming to see so many UKIP people on the BBC being treated as if their opinions are reasonable rather than shameful.
* "This Is How Low Necklines Affect the Outcome of Women's Job Interviews:" https://mic.com/articles/147298/study-finds-women-in-low-necklines-more-likely-to-get-job-interviews-world-has-zero-chill?utm_source=policymicTBLR&utm_medium=style&utm_campaign=social#.TC2NpgWjL
* It is a different experience watching a character in a movie or TV show dying of TB when you have my genetic legacy. I noticed it first with Impromptu. Back then, my lungs were still mostly functional, though the early signs of deterioration were noticeable. Back then, I'd had the experience of watching my beloved great Aunts fade and shrivel as the cf carrier and endless associated infections took their lungs, their breath, their lives, but I'd been a child when they died and the most gruesome of the last stage was kept from me. Watching it this time on Outlander, when the vivid memory of my Mother's struggle for breath and her endless nightmares of suffocating as she died slowly over the last couple years of her life, bits of her spark extinguished by the exhaustion and the oxygen deprivation is in my mind and my own noticeable deterioration of the last five years or so has been strangling me is an even more vivid experience. I now take occasional blacking out from coughing as normal, after all, and I've been infected for more than half a year with a virus I can't begin to shake and the new secondary infection has been choking me unsubtlely all month. I sat, literally struggling for breath, trying to get enough control to draw the medicine into my lungs as Claire breathed smoke into the tube to ease Alex's breathing. I've had this secondary infection for weeks, the fever ebbing and flowing, each bad episode a preview of the one that will likely some day kill me. My death is in my chest, in my cells, in my DNA, an expiration date still well ahead of me, but gruesome and terrifying, and painful. I know, because I watched it take her, as she watched it take her Aunts and her sister when they were in college. It is not a thing a person who isn't a lung patient can really understand I suspect, unless perhaps they have been water boarded or drowned for real. The 19thCentury obsession with tuberculosis always made sense to me as a child, even before the great plague of my life time stole most of a couple of generations of our men. Blood and Breath and life and death. No wonder they were terrified of premature burial, generations of people who watched loved ones suffocate slowly in their beds.
I think of how strong she was, despite everything, and the terror that dragged her out of sleep over and over, and I dream of oxygen tanks and ICU's instead of being buried alive, but I know it will come, it will come.
* "Preacher, Season 1, Episode 3: The Possibilities :" http://www.fangsforthefantasy.com/2016/06/preacher-season-1-episode-3.html
* "How to help Flint, Michigan:" http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/how-help-flint-michigan
* Help pay for cat food, litter, meds, medical copays: Paypal Lethran@gmail.com
* Donate to help refugees: http://donate.unhcr.org/international/general
* A list of LGBTQA Charities: http://awkward0w1.tumblr.com/post/126399233673
* Want Game of Thrones without the creepy? We desperately need new players. We are very inclusive. "Game of Bones MUSH:" gobmush.wikidot.com