It turns out I really should have let them take the chest x-ray.

[gwydion]

I am exhausted because I'm too sick too get much sleep, so I thought, ill go to bed early. I took all the precautions. I did a lung treatment, I took a hot epsom bath, letting the steam loosen things up. Unfortunately there was a drama with Tavy that undid the bath, but I had reasonable expectation of sleep. I carefully eased my way down to sleep position so as to stress my lungs as little as possible. I did everything right, but my lungs kept doing this thing that sounded like sucking up the last of a milkshake through a straw which felt terrible and hurt like you wouldn't believe, but I tried the controlled breathing trick, because sometimes, if I hold it long enough I can sleep with my ribs expanded. It hurts, but I often get a few hours of sleep out of it when things are bad. I drifted off to sleep, but I'm apparently too ill to keep that kind of physical control while unconscious. I woke up suffocating. I sorted that out, tried again, woke up suffocating with the feeling like someone had taken knives to the inside of my lungs. I propped myself up into the safest lung position and was tired enough I managed to drift off sitting up. Woke up suffocating immediately. Tried a couple other angles of sitting up, woke up suffocating.

Me: So if I fall asleep, I get knives in my lungs. Isn't this basically the plot of Nightmare on Elm Street?

I spent a couple of hours with the disciplined breathing trick, came out for some magic soup and Popsicle because I forgot and chewed a bite with the wrong teeth. I can manage as long as I stay awake, but how long can that last? I have to make it to Wednesday for a Doctor, or alternately if the antibiotics kick in for the lungs, I'll be fine. How bad does it have to get to constitute an ER grade Emergency? Squirrel's at work, so I couldn't go now even if I wanted to. If one goes and it isn't what insurance calls an Emergency, then they don't cover and I can't afford that. I am so fucking tired and i haven't had proper sleep in a week.

Comments

[jackjanderson]

Being exhausted while sick but not able to sleep is a nightmare. I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope you feell better soon

[gwydion]

Thank you, that is kind.